Before I married Jack, I had relationships with other men. A few of those men were great. A few more were not so great.

One guy was physically abusive, another was emotionally unavailable. I even tried out a divorced "has been" who was trying to revive his party days.

Except for one good IT guy, in general they were not good enough for me, as my parents reminded me whenever they had the chance. I may have known somewhere inside I could do better, but I didn't rush to change the situation.

My friends also didn't jump to point out the guys who weren't right for me. It may have helped me to hear some honesty. Then again, I wouldn't have listened, "true" love being blind and all.

Perhaps everyone knew marriage wasn't in the near future and that I was still figuring out what I wanted, so why should they worry about my bad choices?

But as we get older and closer to lifetime decisions I worry about my friends' romantic choices. Does older not really mean wiser?

My close friend Emma recently introduced me to her latest beau. Just as I had warmed up to "nothing to write home about" Steve, I was faced with a new and extremely different flavor named Dave.

Problem is, Dave doesn't impress me, while Emma seems to think he's "the one." There is nothing wrong with him -- he has a job, his own place, looks fine on paper. But she doesn't seem ga-ga over him the way I've seen her with others. I worry she's dealing with timing issues rather than really having found the right one.

Emma's an under-dater, an underachiever of the dating world. I would never tell her that, because I don't want to hurt her or seem unsupportive. But I want more for her.

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She has crushes on hot guys who she could clearly get, yet she ends up with a guy who has no clue how a girl like her would date him. Maybe she likes having "projects" or realizes looks aren't everything, but these guys also lack charm. One guy embarrassed her every time they went out with his know-it-all ways. Another was labeled the "fun sucker" for constantly bringing down the room.

Knowing that she is an original with a promising career, talent and brains, I'm surprised that she finds herself with guys who don't measure up -- guys lacking personality who stick out like sore thumbs against her polished fingers. I struggle to find the beauty inside of them, but I often come up empty.

Emma isn't my only friend who surprises me with her choices. I watch and listen as a few others complain about men who are dragging them down with a lack of ambition and their persistent "issues." I believe in loyalty, but sometimes I wish the girls would cut their losses before they wake up years from now still next to Mr. Wrong.

Normally it wouldn't matter if Emma's current guy was better than the last or even good enough for her, but sometimes I hear her talk about marriage and realize he may be around for the long haul.

Is it my place to give her a reality check? As tempting as it may be, not at all.

My friend Jen dropped one of her friends after Jen tired of the girl going on about how Jen should leave her boyfriend. The couple eventually broke up, but the naysayer friend wasn't around to celebrate. No one is ready to break up until they're ready to break up, regardless of a shrewd third-party opinion.

No matter how many people have the urge to say, "I told you so," or forewarn their friends about bad love choices, it serves no good. When a friend seems happy with her choice, the best kind of friend knows to keep her mouth shut and let things play out.

I only have to think back three years to when I first introduced Jack to my closest friends.

I heard, "He's OK for now," and other negative remarks, which irked me but didn't make a difference. I chose not to hold my friends' short-sighted judgments against them, because they didn't know him or what I was looking for.

It's impossible to get inside a relationship without actually being in the relationship.

So it's time for me to accept my friends' choices and get to know their guys for now -- and possibly the future.

It's not my place to tell any friend whom to date, because how do I know any better than she does?

What makes my friends happy is not necessarily what works for me. If she likes unattractive guys who can't make her laugh, so be it. I already picked my guy, so it's time to support my friends as they try on different partners for size, even the ugly --and boring -- ducklings.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous newlywed who has loved, lost and doesn't mind sharing. Her column appears every other Thursday.