An acquaintance recently said "Yes" to her boyfriend of several months.

All of the sudden, it's as if this bride-to-be figured out the meaning of life.

On a night out, I watched Allison give a single gal advice on getting a guy, presenting herself as the expert on something it took years for her to do.

"Here's what you do" is not something an engaged person -- or even a married one -- has the right to say.

She has bluntly reminded her single friends that they are not to bring dates to the wedding unless they, too, are engaged or married. That's fine as a way to manage numbers, but not if it's used as a reminder that she has something they don't.

I'm getting tired of wives-in-waiting acting as if they know it all, that that ring on the finger gives them authority to dispense relationship advice and look down below with pity at the still-single ones.

Many women have a mental checklist of life accomplishments, including graduating from college, getting a job, landing a man and having babies. Those are all respectable goals to have, but when does ticking off items on that list give one authority to condescend?

My single friend, Sara, recently received a phone call from her close friend, Mary. Mary just got engaged and was sharing the news.

Sara was genuinely happy for her, even though she doesn't have a man of her own. As a romantic, Sara just loves weddings and the thought of true love.

Yet it wasn't enough for Mary to hear Sara's congratulations. She dug deeper.

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"What I want to know, Sara, is how are you taking this? It must be really hard on you," Mary said.

Mary felt bad for Sara because Sara had not accomplished that part of life yet. Sure, Sara doesn't have a steady man, but maybe at 25 that's not a bad thing.

Although Sara would love to have a serious boyfriend, she doesn't need pity from a friend who happens to be marrying a guy. It's not the end of the world for Mary to get married, and her couples' counseling doesn't make her an expert on anything, either.

There are many bitter women out there who truly would not be happy for their engaged friends, especially an annoying one like Mary. But friends are generally big enough to suppress their jealousy and share in the joy of their friends, who will hopefully return the favor one day.

It can even be tricky being the bride. Those resentful friends can make one leery, but there is no need -- ever -- to flaunt the bling or brag about the centerpieces. It's possible to enjoy the experience without nauseating others.

I tried my best not to be obnoxious about being engaged, and now about being married. Marriage is hard; it's tough work. It may be OK to boast about a 50-year marriage, but not much less than that.

I remember when a friend of mine found her "The One" and assured me that some day I would find the same, suggesting that life is not complete without a husband.

It's that attitude -- marriage is the end all -- that complicates female friendships. We used to be all in it together, some having more luck with romance than others, but never really knowing more than the next girl.

I don't want to take away from the fun of being a bride and the special attention she gets to have. It's great to be the star of the show, even if just a day (or the months leading up to that day).

It's hard to be modest and low profile when people are showering you with attention and you are allowed, even required, to soak it up. But it's not worth it if you can't share the spotlight with your friends, the ones who were there for you when life wasn't so good and will be there if things don't turn out as planned.

For the fiancees out there who think they figured it all out, think again.

Diamonds may be your best friend, but they don't make you better than your friends.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous newlywed who has loved, lost and doesn't mind sharing. Her column appears every other Thursday.