Listen up!

Class is in session.

Another week, another wrestling pay-per-view!

This time around, kids, we'll focus on the latest offering from WWE: ECW's "December To Dismember." A little secret: I write this thing on Thursday nights and as of this second (8:50 p.m. CDT), WWE has listed just TWO matches for this card.

C'mon, Vince, a little effort here! So at this writing, I'm just going to deal with those two matches in this hallowed column.

Challenge Match: MNM vs. The Hardys
What Should Happen: Reunited for one night only (right), Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercury take on Matt and Jeff Hardy, the reunited tag team legends. Now I know it might be a buzzkill to have the Hardys come back and have them lose, but to keep this program going I'd have MNM win. It makes the most common sense, and that's what I'm all about. By the way, if this is an ECW show, why are all four guys in this match "Raw" or "SmackDown!" employees? So much for keeping the brands separate.

What Will Happen: It's an upset pick, and I might be wrong, but I'm going with MNM, with their wench of a manager Melina interfering in the end.

What Did Happen: The Hardys took it. So much for that feud.

Extreme Elimination Chamber ECW Title Match: Big Show (c) vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. C.M. Punk vs. Sabu vs. Test
What Should Happen: Oooooh. The Elimination Chamber. Scaaaaary. If I were writing the scripts, Sabu would get the belt and be allowed to run with it. He's an ECW original, and doesn't bore me to tears. That's not going to happen, though. All eyes are on newcomer Lashley to take the prize. Big Show won't win because he's due to have some real-life surgery soon. He could use the time off. Hopefully he'll take care of himself and lose 100 pounds as well. The guy looks like a walking heart attack, which is sad because he seems like too nice of a guy for that to happen. When will we see Show again? The smart money says WrestleMania 23 versus Hulk Hogan.

What Will Happen: Bobby Lashley will prevail to become your new ECW champion.

What Did Happen: Bobby Lashley pinned the Big Show to win the ECW crown.

That's it. I batted .500 in that monster pay-per-view, and nailed the main event. Man, I'm good.

Before the bell rings, one more item for you to ponder. If you haven't listened to the Professor Wrestling Podcast, "Old School, New School," you just aren't living right. This week in Episode 10, I'm again joined by Dr. Mike Lano and George Schire, as we discuss the rash of wrestler deaths the past few years. We also get you up to date on the whereabouts of George "The Animal" Steele and Red Bastien in our "Where Are They Now" segment. That and much more can be heard RIGHT HERE! It's a big show and it might take a few minutes to download, so please be patient. It's totally worth it!

Also, if you've missed any of our previous shows, just CLICK HERE for a full rundown of audio greatness.

Next week: Back to covering TNA! (I was going to do a mailbag, but I forgot TNA had a PPV this Sunday.)

Now scram. Class dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting. He hails from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )